As We Speak
Do you ever feel like you're saying exactly what you are thinking but no one is listening to what you're saying?
I would argue that just about every teenager on the face of the planet feels that way just about every second of the day. That being said, I am well out of my teen years and just beginning my trek into adulthood and the professional world, but still feel like this on a daily basis.
Between my job, my relationship, and my family, I seem to have a very hard time articulating my thoughts in a way that people will actually listen to. I think the main reason I have a hard time with this, despite my degree in Communication, is because I know going into it that people aren't going to listen the way I need them to.
I would consider myself a very high strung individual. Most of the people I know would say the same about me. I think too much, I get anxious, and I panic. This cycle repeats itself until I cry most weeks.
The people in my life unfortunately have to deal with this as much as I do.
It's hard being this person. I am very good at comforting. I am very good at helping talk things through, calm people down. I'm a good shoulder to cry on. I give good, solid and ration advice. And the person I've turned into would never know that about myself.
I have a hard time letting people help me. I have a hard time believing that they even want to. I just have a hard time. I think it's starting to take a toll on my relationship, but if you asked my boyfriend he would say the opposite. I just have this feeling that eventually it's going to get old for him. Me getting anxious, me shutting down emotionally, me snapping or having a dramatic mood swing. He can handle all of that. The problem that we have encountered in my opinion is that I feel this way, and I feel bad, and he gets frustrated when I suggest things like he would ever get annoyed with me. So then I think I'm even more annoying, I shut down and get upset and we are back at square one. Meanwhile he thinks he's doing the right thing by assuring me that could never be the case- in reality, sometimes he makes me feel like an idiot for even having feeling in the first place.
He would be devastated if he ever knew I felt that way. Which is why I have a blog. Cause sometimes you just have to type out your frustrations while you half listen to him ramble on the phone about the summertime social he went to at work today.
I would argue that just about every teenager on the face of the planet feels that way just about every second of the day. That being said, I am well out of my teen years and just beginning my trek into adulthood and the professional world, but still feel like this on a daily basis.
Between my job, my relationship, and my family, I seem to have a very hard time articulating my thoughts in a way that people will actually listen to. I think the main reason I have a hard time with this, despite my degree in Communication, is because I know going into it that people aren't going to listen the way I need them to.
I would consider myself a very high strung individual. Most of the people I know would say the same about me. I think too much, I get anxious, and I panic. This cycle repeats itself until I cry most weeks.
The people in my life unfortunately have to deal with this as much as I do.
It's hard being this person. I am very good at comforting. I am very good at helping talk things through, calm people down. I'm a good shoulder to cry on. I give good, solid and ration advice. And the person I've turned into would never know that about myself.
I have a hard time letting people help me. I have a hard time believing that they even want to. I just have a hard time. I think it's starting to take a toll on my relationship, but if you asked my boyfriend he would say the opposite. I just have this feeling that eventually it's going to get old for him. Me getting anxious, me shutting down emotionally, me snapping or having a dramatic mood swing. He can handle all of that. The problem that we have encountered in my opinion is that I feel this way, and I feel bad, and he gets frustrated when I suggest things like he would ever get annoyed with me. So then I think I'm even more annoying, I shut down and get upset and we are back at square one. Meanwhile he thinks he's doing the right thing by assuring me that could never be the case- in reality, sometimes he makes me feel like an idiot for even having feeling in the first place.
He would be devastated if he ever knew I felt that way. Which is why I have a blog. Cause sometimes you just have to type out your frustrations while you half listen to him ramble on the phone about the summertime social he went to at work today.
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